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November 22, 2016

Online Dating Observations

Filed under: Main — admin @ 12:01 am

With the recent news that the online boinking website Adult Friend Finder has been hacked, my thoughts turn to the digital realm and what is now apparently the effortless and magical way that people can find their new partners.

My observation is that Adult Friend Finder (and I’m not linking to that site) appeals to men who cheat. In fact, if this hack is similar to the Ashley Madison hack, then the AFF site is probably 98 percent men and 2 percent women, all of which have questionable virtue in my opinion. For people looking to start a relationship or find their true love, other online dating sites are available.

Now I’m no expert at dating. The part of my that understands technology and can explain advanced concepts overshadows my ability to detect when women flirt. Even at dating, I am awkward and uncomfortable. Over the years, I have dabbled in a few of the online dating sites with mixed results. I’ve discussed the topic with various friends, and their observations are similar to mine.

First, at any of the sites, you’ll find a high ratio of men to women. For the ladies, that’s great! Then again, quantity doesn’t equate to quality. Further, the high number of douches and cads means that guys who are legitimate sweethearts are more difficult to find.

Second, you glean nothing from “a picture and a paragraph.” Even the personality and needs tests are weak. We’re visual creatures and we first judge by looks. Yet there’s no guarantee that pictures are accurate. In fact, some photos can be downright tasteless and offensive.

The descriptions are useless and canned: “I’m a good person. I want to find the love of my life. I hike, kayak, swim, mountain bike, and spelunk usually before noon. I also like to cuddle by the fire.” No one writes, “My ideal Saturday is passed out on the couch with college football on TV and a beer in my hand.”

Finally, the point of the exercise is to meet people. Does it happen? Not that often, at least in my case. Out of 10 “Hello” messages sent, I recall receiving maybe one in reply. Even then, the conversation would die. I’m guessing that’s due to competition, but who knows? And I’m not sure what happens from the ladies’ perspective, but I’m guess they meet with similar disappointment.

I could go on about how married people who use the sites to cheat, out-of-date photos, and other abuses. The secret to starting a relationship is that you must meet in person. That’s where human interaction takes hold. Even talking on the phone is better than texting. That’s because the digital realm is perhaps the worst place to go looking for a human being.

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