Computer terms. Love ’em. Hate ’em. Look at ’em in a different light.

Consider backup. Being backed up means different things depending on the situation.

Computer backed up: Good.
You backed up: Not so good.

Computer virus: Bad
People virus: Bad

Computer mouse: Good
Real mouse: Bad

A hard drive is an okay thing to have for a computer, but not for a trip to your Aunt Millie’s.

Computer port: Good
80 proof port: Better

Reinstalling Microsoft Windows: Painful
Reinstalling your home’s windows: Painful and expensive

Draft: An unfinished document
Draft: A window has been left open

In the world cell phone: Great
In jail cell phone: Not as great

Computer network: Handy
Television network: Boring

Console: The computer box
Console: To comfort someone in a time of woe

CPU: Central processing unit
CPU: To view something stinky

Links: Clickable things on a web page or elsewhere
Links: Holes on a golf course
Links: Things to hold your shirt cuffs

Save All: To transfer your documents from memory to disk
Save All: What the Church tries to do to humanity

Apple: Evil computer company
Apple: Tasty fruit

UPS, Uninterruptible Power Supply: Saves your stuff
UPS, United Parcel Service: Delivers your stuff

USB: Universal Serial Bus
UBS: Union Back of Switzerland

RAM: computer memory
Ram: Male sheep

ROM: Read-only memory
Rahm: Chicago politician

Computer Laptop: Cool
Heidi’s lap top: Very cool!