For the past several days, I’ve had buku problems with my high-speed Internet connection. It’s been very frustrating. Not only the connection issues, but dealing with the tech support jungle.

I hope that someday they implement a tech support hotline for people who have a clue. Something like, “Press 1 if you can explain what a router does.” That would get you connected instantly with someone who A) spoke English as their first language, B) didn’t read everything from a book, and C) knew that you were capable of operating a computer and would be willing help you fix the problem in an expedient manner.

Were there a “Press 1 if you can explain what a router does” option, I wouldn’t have had to sit through two consecutive sessions with someone who failed to meet qualifications A, B, and C above.

It all started last week when I noticed severe throttling of my cable connection speed. One second I was accessing the Internet at 13,000Kbps, then it would throttle down to 800kbps for a while, then stop. This cycle repeated endlessly.

My son clued me into the problem. He loves Modern Warfare 2 and plays it online all the time. He was getting really heated over the lag he experienced in the game. It was maddening.

lag. A slow down or stop in data transmission. In a game lag presents itself as jittery action, sometimes your character moves about the map violently and cannot be controlled. Sever lag is met with a disconnection from the server. If not, then it’s invariable that your character gets killed in the game. It sucks.

I did some Internet speed tests and noticed the throttling. So I phoned up tech support. That was when the hell began.

Long story short: I replaced the cable modem and the router. Yet the problem persisted.

Amazingly, the problems abated over the weekend. Still, my two complaints and suffering through tech support warranted a visit by the Cable Guy.

Today, the Cable Repair Guy came and tested my connection. He said it was great, really good in fact. Everything was working and he verified that there appeared to be no problems on my end. They would, however, start a log of my Internet activity to see whether there were any drops.

So far, the Internet has been behaving well. I’ve not seen any lag or throttling. That could mean that the problem fixed itself. Fine. Still, it makes me feel better to know that they’re running a log for a few days. Documentation is always a good thing.