What’s ThinkCentre? it is nor RAM, nor disk,
Nor processor, nor any other part
Belonging to PC. O, be some other name!
What’s in a name? that which we call a Mac
By any other name would run as sweet;
So ThinkCentre would, were it not ThinkCentre call’d
There was a time when computer manufacturers actually knew how to name their products. That time has passed.
Way back when, there was the Apple II, the TRS-80 Model III, the Commodore 64, the IBM PC. These were all simple computer names. Oh, they may have had secret model numbers; the IBM PC was the Model 5150 in actuality. But everyone knew what an IBM PC was. The next system was the IBM PC/XT, followed by the IBM PC/AT. Simple.
During the 1990s, when Steve Jobs had been banished, Apple went crazy with names. There was the mysterious Quadra line: the 610 and the 800. Then other companies started using numbers for their computer names. The Tandy 1000, then the 1200, then whatever. Today things are even more stupid.
I often buy my desktops from Lenovo, once known as IBM. I have three of them in my office. I have no idea what the model numbers are because, honestly, they’re too complex to be worthy of storage in my brain cells. Whoever the marketing genius is at Lenovo who thought it would be a good idea to give their products mysterious names needs to be taken out, dipped in honey, rolled in nuts, and tossed into a Montana forest.
Consider the names: ThinkCentre, IdeaCentre. What’s the difference? Is one low-end? Is one for home and the other for business? If so, why not call them HomeCentre and BusinessCentre? The product identity is weak with those names.
IBM is not alone. Here’s Gateway’s line-up: Gateway DX Series, Gateway FX Series, Gateway One. Which is the high-end system? Which is the home system? Which is the economy system? Is there really a difference between them? Even the product descriptions fail to tell you exactly which computer is weak and which is strong. As my gamer friends would say, FAIL!
Look at HP’s line-up: Pavilion a6500z series, Pavilion a6510t series, Pavilion Slimline s3500z series, Presario SR5000 series.
I would expect such naming nonsense from the Department of Defense! “This here is our new tank, the ZR6-7100sq-950 series.”
Are these computer manufacturers really trying to sell something? What’s the point to all the weird-ass names? Is the marketing department bereft of creativity?
If I were to open Wambooli Computers, I would have a three-tiered line of PCs for sale. Here they are:
Wambooli Noob. This is the basic, entry-level PC. Designed for home use, simple operations, nothing fancy, priced economically.
Wambooli Pwnage. The high-end home system, designed for game play or anyone who wants a beefy computer to make the neighbors cry tears of jealousy. (Pwnage is pronounced “pown-age.” It’s a gaming term implying that one is dominating his opponents.)
Wambooli Suit. The business system. No frills, but powerful enough to look better on a lawyer’s desk than the Noob model. (Actually, it’s just the Noob model with a more serious-looking case.)
Why can’t the big boys do that?
Seriously, if the big companies made it easy for us to understand computers, then we would buy something else…
Comment by jack — July 21, 2008 @ 7:56 am
I agree, Dan. It’s annoying to go shopping for a computer and have to look at the base price to get an idea of what is what. I love marketing, and one thing with marketing is to keep your products easily differentiated and targeted. As it is, the BFC-9150a could be a low end machine even with scary looking numbers like that.
One of the problems though is today’s high powered machine is tomorrow’s economy model, with the exact same parts. So do you change the name? Or do you leave it the Wambooli Pwnage (with the 1400 AMD processor and GeForce 4 video card)? Or maybe you need to put years on it, like the Wambooli Pwnage 2002.
Comment by jamh51 — July 21, 2008 @ 11:16 am
Good point. I suppose you’d have to put year numbers on the thing. Or you could just always use a “mid-level” video card on the Noob model, for example. Then again, do you like to configure your PCs when you buy them on the Internet? I mean, there is a base model, but then there are options. Perhaps you could get a Pwnage model with dual graphics cards, but it would still be Pwnage? I dunno. But it beats the weird numbers.
Comment by admin — July 21, 2008 @ 8:36 pm
I’m building my own.
No big deal.
Comment by nfl — July 28, 2008 @ 9:23 pm
What are you naming it?
Comment by admin — July 28, 2008 @ 9:33 pm
I’m looking at a Dell Vostro, the 1510 laptop to be precise. Dell are alright with their Laptop numbers: the first two generally mean the screen size in inches (i.e. the Vostro 1510 has a screen of about 15 inches, then Dell XPS 1330 has a screen size of 13″, and so on, I believe), and the last two numbers I believe represent generation. For instance, I think the Vostro 1500 was a black version of the Inspirion chassis, and looked cheap and tackky if you ask me. (The lack of bloatware is a bonus)
Comment by Douglas — July 29, 2008 @ 4:40 am
That makes complete sense, but of course, what’s a “Vostro?”
Comment by admin — July 29, 2008 @ 9:03 am