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Burma Shave Slogans

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These signs once appeared alongside the highway, each sign containing one sentence of a longer slogan. So you would drive by and the kids would all read aloud each of the signs. (And those kids are now in their '60s.)

Anyway, some of these can be pretty fun, though it's best to pause between each line and imagine yourself rumbling down an old 2-lane road, top down on the Chevy convertible, watching America roll by...

Year:

1952


The wife
Who keeps on
Being kissed
Always heads
Her shopping list
Burma-Shave


Is he
Lonesome
Or just blind—
This guy who drives
So close behind?
Burma-Shave


Pedro
Walked
Back home by golly
His bristly chin
Was hot-to-Molly
Burma-Shave


Missin’
Kissin’?
Perhaps your thrush
Can’t get thru
The underbrush—try
Burma-Shave


Clancy’s
Whiskers
Tickle Nancy
Nancy lowered the boom
On Clancy!
Burma-Shave


A chin
Where barbed wire
Bristles stand
Is bound to be
A no ma’ams land
Burma-Shave


Leaves
Face soft
As woman’s touch
Yet doesn’t cost you
Near as much
Burma-Shave


We can’t
Provide you
With a date
But we do supply
The best darn bait
Burma-Shave


The wolf
Is shaved
So neat and trim
Red Riding Hood
Is chasing him
Burma-Shave


Relief
For faces
Chapped and sore
Keeps ’em comin’
Back for more
Burma-Shave


His
Tomato
Was the mushy type
Until his beard
Grew over-ripe
Burma-Shave


Heaven’s
Latest
Neophyte
Signalled left
Then turned right
Burma-Shave


Better try
Less speed per mile
That car
May have to
Last a while
Burma-Shave


To steal
A kiss
He had the knack
But lacked the cheek
To get one back
Burma-Shave


We’ve made
Grandpa
Look so trim
The local
Draft board’s after him
Burma-Shave


"No, no,"
She said
To her bristly beau
"I’d rather
Eat the mistletoe"
Burma-Shave


His rose
Is wed
His violet blew
But his sugar is sweet
Since he took this cue
Burma-Shave


Why is it
When you
Try to pass
The guy in front
Goes twice as fast?
Burma-Shave


She put
A bullet
Thru his hat
But he’s had
Closer shaves than that
Burma-Shave


5-star
Generals
Privates 1st class
Show equal rank
In the looking-glass
Burma-Shave