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Burma Shave Slogans

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These signs once appeared alongside the highway, each sign containing one sentence of a longer slogan. So you would drive by and the kids would all read aloud each of the signs. (And those kids are now in their '60s.)

Anyway, some of these can be pretty fun, though it's best to pause between each line and imagine yourself rumbling down an old 2-lane road, top down on the Chevy convertible, watching America roll by...

Year:

1953


When you lay
Those few cents down
You’ve bought
The smoothest
Shave in town
Burma-Shave


Substitutes
Are like a girdle
They find some jobs
They just
Can’t hurdle
Burma-Shave


Gut rasiert? ("If you want a good shave?" — German)
___________ (Chinese)
La mejor afeitada ("The best shave" — Spanish)
The best shave
In any language
Burma-Shave


We’re widely read
And often quoted
But it’s shaves
Not signs
For which we’re noted
Burma-Shave


Men who
Have to
Travel light
Find the 35 cent tube
Just right
Burma-Shave


It gave
McDonald
That needed charm
Hello Hollywood
Good-by farm
Burma-Shave


A shave
That’s real
No cuts to heal
A soothing
Velvet after-feel
Burma-Shave


Around
The curve
Lickety-split
It’s a beautiful car
Wasn’t it?
Burma-Shave


Our fortune
Is your
Shaven face
It’s our best
Advertising space
Burma-Shave


If Crusoe’d
Kept his chin
More tidy
He might have found
A lady Friday
Burma-Shave


Feel your face
As you ride by
Now don’t
You think
It’s time to try
Burma-Shave


If anything
Will please
Your Jill
A little jack
For this jar will
Burma-Shave


That barefoot
Chap
With cheeks of tan
Won’t let ’em chap
When he’s a man
Burma-Shave


If harmony
Is what
You crave
Then get
A tuba
Burma-Shave


The bearded devil
Is forced
To dwell
In the only place
Where they don’t sell
Burma-Shave


This cream
Makes the
Gardener’s daughter
Plant her tu-lips
Where she oughter
Burma-Shave


No matter
The price
No matter how new
The best safety device
In your car is you
Burma-Shave


He asked
His kitten
To pet and purr
She eyed his puss
And screamed "What fur!"
Burma-Shave


Toughest
Whiskers
In the town
We hold ’em up
You mow ’em down
Burma-Shave


These signs
Are not
For laughs alone
The face they save
May be your own
Burma-Shave


The hero
Was brave and strong
And willin’
She felt his chin—
Then wed the villain
Burma-Shave


The safest rule
No ifs or buts
Just drive
Like every one else
Is nuts!
Burma-Shave